Shannon's Filmography · The Kid & I (2005) .... Shelby Roman · Confessions of an American Bride (2005) (TV) .... Sam · Cursed (2005) .... Becky · "Cuts" (2005) TV Series .... Tiffany Sherwood · Johnson Family Vacation (2004) .... Chrishelle Rene Boudreau · James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing (2004) (VG) (voice) .... Serena St. Germaine ... aka Everything or Nothing (USA: short title) · Love Actually (2003) .... Harriet, the sexy one

· Survivin' the Island (2002) (uncredited) .... Office Worker · Thir13en Ghosts (2001) .... Kathy Kriticos ... aka 13 fantômes (Canada: French title) · Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) .... Justice · American Pie 2 (2001) .... Nadia · Tomcats (2001) .... Natalie Parker · Evicted (2000) .... Princess · Scary Movie (2000) .... Buffy Gilmore · American Pie (1999) .... Nadia IMDB

Shannon's Biography

Remember Charlotte's Web ? It was a story for kids in which a spider, hoping to save the life of her pig friend who was scheduled to be slaughtered for food, wove the words "Some Pig" over the pig's stall; when the farmer and his friends saw it, they were immediately convinced that this otherwise unremarkable pig was indeed "some pig", and for a time the pig enjoyed a life of contests, pageants, and endless, mob-mentality praise.

Shannon Elizabeth, it seems to me, is another case of "some pig".

Plucked out of virtual obscurity, her career future was saved between her sexpot role in the wildly popular American Pie and her nude Playboy pictorial. Now she's reportedly swamped with movie deals and people around the country can't seem to get enough of her. But is she really that remarkable that she should generate all this hubbub?

Let's be honest - face-wise, she's no Helen of Troy, although it depends a lot on where you see her. Her face looks great on the cover of Maxim - somehow those British men's magazines have figured out how to make everyone look good where other magazines haven't - but plain to awful in the pages of Playboy. Part of the problem is her smile: she has a cute half-smile, but her full smile, unsheathing what look like enormous teeth and a lot of gum, give her face an unsettling Joker-like appearance. No, the real reason Shannon has everyone foaming at the mouth is in fact the same reason unremarkably faced Laetitia Casta is so popular: hooters.

Yes, nothing says "some pig" like a pair of bared tits in a major motion picture. And like Charlotte's cynical web, there's so clearly nothing real in those carefully sculpted breasts except maybe the skin - for all her insistence to the contrary on The Howard Stern Show. I mean, for God's sake, they look hard enough to repel gunfire; they're the sort of implants that look great as clothed cleavage but, out on their own, are too clearly artificial to be taken seriously. In any case, they were a lot smaller in 1998's Dish Dogs than in the following year's American Pie. (See the "adult" galleries if you don't believe me.)

Of course, all this begs the question: Why on earth do I have Shannon here on The Iconophile?

Damned if I know. Perhaps I put her here simply for those pictures where she does look good. Maybe I, like everyone else, have temporarily fallen under the spell of the Emperor's New Tits. Maybe I really just like American Pie and have confused that with liking her. Hell, I've put Molly Ringwald on this site ... why not Shannon Elizabeth?

Shannon Posters